Live Not for Yourself: A Call to Rest in Who God Says You Are

The world is obsessed with self. Everywhere you go, you see and hear about self-love, self-care, etc. It’s heartbreaking that so many people are infatuated with themselves but never quite satisfied with who they are. They are constantly being told to “find themselves” or become who they want to be.

For someone who has been fed such lies and has come to believe them, he cannot be content to be who he already is, because he is lost and doesn’t know who he is. These lies have led him to an endless striving to become someone significant, successful, and known.

Compare this to becoming more conformed to the image of Christ. A Christian should want to deny himself and strive to become more like Christ, to welcome the refining that strips away self that Christ may be all in all, the very reason he lives his life.

Without Christ, this so-called “finding yourself” is a lifelong pursuit that ultimately leads to despair, and unfortunately, these lies are so pervasive in our culture that somehow we have bought into them without even realizing it.

Who God Says You Are

Take a look at the culture we live in and it’s obvious the people of this world generally deny the existence of God. They believe it is up to them to define themselves, because in their mind there is no higher power who has written their stories and known them from before the foundation of the world.

Alone in the world as a “blank tablet,” as philosopher John Locke put it, it is up to the individual to become who he wants to become. This ideology is dangerous and can lead you into an existential trap that requires constant maintenance to keep up with whatever new identity you’ve created for yourself. I can tell you from personal experience – it’s exhausting.

It can be as simple as saying you are or do something to appeal to a certain audience, but once you’ve created this identity, you’ll end up doing anything to preserve it and everything you’ve gained because of it. You could even go so far that you end up living a complete and total lie.

Psalm 139:16 says, “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” The reason it’s an ongoing struggle to be anyone other than yourself is that you simply weren’t created to be anyone other than who God says you are.

In addition, Proverbs 16:9 says, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” God has created you for a special purpose and planned out your entire life – nothing about you is hidden from him. If you are following God instead of following your heart to find your own identity apart from him, you will be able to rest in and be content with who you are in Him, for if you are in Christ, you already have an identity as a child of God.

Deny Yourself

“And he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” – 2 Corinthians 5:15.

The world believes there is no one ruling over your life, no deity watching over everything. This sounds depressing to us, since we know it isn’t true, but the world considers it the very epitome of freedom.

If no deity cares about you and your life is your own business, then you are essentially free to do whatever you see fit with no rules or moral constraints. There is no room in such a person’s life for morality or other standards set by God, because in his mind, there is no God. And if this is so, then who is to say there are rules? Therefore, he can continue to live in sin and it would be completely justified.

Living for yourself is tempting. It seems ideal because it’s easy, pleasant, and momentarily rewarding. But like a child left unsupervised in a candy store who eats his fill of junk food, we chase shallow and unfulfilling things and experiences that never last and are terrible for us long term.

Listen to these words from Jesus in Mark 8: “And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. for whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?’” This is the direct opposite of the world’s message to us.

God calls everyone who is truly willing to follow Him to deny themselves, instead of exalt themselves as the authors of their own personal journeys through life. Since God has planned out your life and is ultimately in control, this living for yourself, this emotional burden disguised as moral freedom, is not something you have to bear.

Jesus says in Matthew 11, “’Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’”

If we simply confess our sin of living for ourselves to Jesus Christ, the Son of God who paid the penalty for that sin, and trust in Him alone for salvation, we can live in the true freedom He offers us: freedom from false confidence, freedom from the lies we’ve created ourselves into, and freedom from the guilt of our own selfishness and sin, which would have led to death if not for His gracious gift of salvation.

Final Thoughts

Once you surrender your life to Christ and He becomes the center of your world, all else becomes less important, including yourself. You don’t have to care about what others think of you, or what you think of yourself, so long as you are right with God; what He says about you is all that matters. He invites you to come to Him instead of chasing the things of this world which will only return void.

Striving after the things of the world leads you right back to where you started, leaving you with a sense of emptiness, causing you to question, “Who am I?”

Whenever I ask myself this question, I always circle back to the same answer: I am the precious child of my Heavenly Father who is loved and valued forever, despite my sins and shortcomings. My past, present, and future are not dependent on or defined by my will, but the Will of God the Father, which cannot by any means be altered by anyone. I have surrendered my life to Him, and He gets to decide how He uses me to fulfill His purposes. I am simply His vessel, and it is a blessing to not have to create my own identity or “find myself” on my own.